In July of 2020, my husband got orders to Okinawa, Japan. A month or so later I learned how all-consuming of a process getting there would be. One of the big aspects of the move for me was that there would be a lot of time in between when our stuff got shipped and when we would receive it. That meant our family would be living out of suitcases for roughly two months (it’s actually three months since our house got packed up and we don’t have all of our stuff but that’s because we haven’t settled on a house yet). This is something that I scoured the internet for advice on when trying to make my preparations and wasn’t able to find much that was helpful. Now, I’ve traveled around the world, I’ve done the whole backpacking thing, and I’ve done the whole living out of a car on a cross country road-trip thing. I’m comfortable being in transit and living with less. However, throw some kids in there and you’re singing a whole new song. As much as I like to portray myself as the whimsical, go-with-the-flow mom, I’m a hover mom in disguise. I am constantly fighting my instinct to take back the crying baby. I have to stop myself from doing everything for the toddler and let him have some autonomy. I literally have to close my eyes and breath half the time when my husband plays with the kids. So, naturally, I spent way too much time researching and preparing for how we were going to live out of suitcases with a toddler and a 3-month-old, who would be a 5-month-old by the time we reached our destination. On top of the amount of time we would be living out of suitcases, we also had a variety of places we would be staying in, methods of traveling, and changing seasons/climates. If just reading that doesn’t stress you out you’re either not a mom or as carefree as I aspire to be. Being on the other side of our move some of the best advice I can give is something my husband says all the time but something I wasn’t ready to hear during the planning process;

They don’t need as much as you think they do.

It’s so easy to get caught up between what kids actually need versus what you want to have for them. We (and by we I mean I) overpacked big time. I wanted to make sure I had everything we could possibly need to make this transition easier for us. However, overpacking was more of a hindrance than it was helpful. Especially during the flying process as I explain in, The Flight: Moving to Okinawa, Japan with Two Under Two and Two Dogs. My biggest regret is packing too much. Clothes and toys are two places you can cut back on in terms of packing for the kids. I packed my toddler’s entire wardrobe just because it fit. Pack enough clothes for a week or a week and a half and just plan on doing laundry a lot (you’re going to need to do laundry regardless of how much you pack if you have kids). As for toys, kids don’t really need them. Especially during a move when they’re constantly in new locations, they have enough to entertain themselves (plus they’ll probably lose some of them along the way). Best to keep it minimal. My toddler is super into cars, so we definitely could have done with just packing two or three of his cars and one book.

Remember that you can always buy things along the way.

If you’re cheap like me part of the problem with overpacking is trying to save money. While it’s a worthwhile venture to some extent, maybe now is not the time to buy the diapers and wipes in bulk and take up half a suitcase just to save a buck or two. Most grocery stores carry the baby necessities and most places have grocery stores. So, try not to stress or overpack on the basics. Clothes might be a little bit trickier as rural areas probably won’t have a Target or Osh Kosh, but for the most part, clothes are something you can get eventually when needed.

Get the travel version.

Again, not the most budget-friendly advice, so if you’re on a budget, you probably don’t really need x or y travel item. Remeber, kids don’t need as much as we pretend they do. But… whatever it is, if you feel like it would really make your life easier, cut down on the bulk and get the travel version or travel size baby item. For me, that item was a travel bottle brush and drying rack set. I get pretty grossed out by dishes and dishwashers and that whole process. Having a separate bottle brush and a “safe space” for my babies’ drinkware just makes me more relaxed. If you’re going to be out of the comfort of your home for an extended period of time, something simple like that is worth it (in my opinion).

Have a safe place to lay baby.

This one is huge for your sanity and peace of mind. You can’t hold or have your baby in a carrier all the time. Whether it’s a Boppy, a Doc-A-Tot, a Pack-n-Play, or some sort of travel bassinet; have somewhere that you feel comfortable laying your baby when you need or want to. For us, this changed over the course of the trip. When we started out, our baby wasn’t moving yet, and laying him on a bed or couch surrounded by pillows was fine. **I am not a safe-sleep expert.. or any kind of expert for that matter. Please take my advice for what it is, just a mom’s advice, and do what is most comfortable for you and your fam. If you want to know what the experts say Click here.** As our baby learned to roll over and became more mobile we had to modify his safe place. We ended up putting a play-mat (we packed this one and took the tee-pee part off for the trip) and Boppy on the floor to make a little bed for him. We had to teach our toddler (and dogs) not to mess with him when he was sleeping on the floor but you gotta work with what you’ve got.

Pack a first aid kit!

I know I said I was an undercover hover mom, but I’m really not the kind of mom who has a first aid kit on hand at all times. I also did not pack a well thought out first aid kit for our trip and I wish that I had. Our kids never get sick so first aid was not the first thing on my mind but traveling can be very taxing on the body when you’re always on the go. We also went through so many different climates and for little bodies that can be rough. Our toddler got strep throat, had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics, and developed a random rash. Y’all this all started a week before we left for our second half of the road trip and was going on throughout the whole road trip and flight. One thing I wish we had packed was our good thermometer (the one I packed was a shitty under the tongue/rectal one and it didn’t even turn on). I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a young child with a fever but it’s pathetic and miserable and heartbreaking and can also be pretty dangerous. Make sure you pack a good one (and a working one). I’d also suggest having kid’s Tylenol, Motrin, and Benadryl on hand. I think we had a quarter of a bottle of the Tylenol packed and that was it. So don’t be me, do better. Trust me, when that kid is sick you’ll want whatever it is you need right then! Band-aids and some alcohol wipes are good staples to have as well. Our toddler falls a lot. Nine times out of ten his scrapes don’t need anything except a rinse but for that one time, it’s worth it.

The List(s) of things I’m glad I packed for my kids.

I’ve broken the essential items list into Toddler and Infant lists, because a 3-5-month-old and an almost two-year-old have very different needs. A couple of things to note about my essentials are that 1. we co-sleep with the infant (not the toddler, he squirms non-stop), and 2. our infant is pretty much exclusively breastfed but I do pump and he will (kind of) take a bottle if he has to.

Toddler Travel Items

Clothes of course but like I said earlier you only need to pack for a week and a half at most. Since we went through a bunch of different climates and temperatures having a variety of clothing types was important (e.g. short sleeves and long sleeves, shorts and pants). We also could have just done with packing one versatile jacket. Other than clothes (and some toiletries; kid’s toothbrush, kid’s toothpaste, baby shampoo, and a hairbrush if they have hair) the list of what your toddler needs is honestly pretty short.

1. Pack-n-Play- This is the one we have and this is the one I wish we had. Having the removable baby travel dome is genius. If you don’t already have one, get that one. We’ve used our pack-n-play for everything under the sun. For this trip though, we just brought the bones of the pack-n-play to use it as a portable bed for our toddler. Despite my husband’s persistent Saturday night (after a few too many) efforts to get our son to pass out on the couch with him, the toddler refuses to be crib broken. He will not sleep through the whole night unless he is in a cage (crib or pack-n-play) where he can toss and turn freely.

2. Sippy Cups- the kid can drink out of water bottles and normal cups but he also backwashes a ton! We brought four sippy cups and that seemed to be the magic number. Our favorites are these and these.

3. Car Seat- Ours is big and bulky and annoying to travel with but I don’t know, you need one. Obviously, we weren’t going to buy a new car seat for the trip (but if you have that kind of cash go for it) so we just stuck with this one that we love for an everyday use car seat.

4. Baby monitor- The biggest thing is getting a baby monitor that is mobile and easy to set up whenever you may need it. The one we have isn’t anything fancy but it’s durable and gets the job done. Ending up with this baby monitor was kind of an accident but I’ve also never felt the need to upgrade to a fancy one and in fact, we got a second monitor to go with it for the new kid.

5. Crocs– Haha I know, but hear me out. They’re good for water and warm weather and if it’s cold just slap some socks under them and you’re good to go. Plus they’re easy on and off shoes.

Infant Travel Items

Again, pack clothes, but don’t go overboard. I found that having a few t-shirt onesies and a few full-length pj onesies did the trick. Because we were living out of suitcases for so long we did pack a few sizes up. From the time our house was packed up to getting to Japan our son went from 3-6 month sizes to 9-12 month sizes. Other than clothes here is what was nice to have for the baby boy.

1. Car seat- We got the whole kit and caboodle for a car seat and stroller system when we had our first kid. I know it’s an expensive buy but I personally think every piece of this system was worth it. Everything has been super durable! The stroller is lightweight, can be picked up, opened, and closed with one hand, and is great at off-roading. The car seat base makes getting in and out of the car with baby super easy but the car seat straps in easily enough on its own. The car seat is also great for beach trips with baby!

2. Stroller- This is the stroller we brought on the trip. It’s not as easy-breezy as the stroller mentioned above, but having two kids isn’t as easy as one. We picked this double stroller out with the trip and flight in mind and I was really glad we had it.

3. Carrier- There is no reason you need two carriers. I say this because I packed two and only used this one. I try out other carriers every now and then but this one is always my favorite! I love that it’s lightweight, I can put it on by myself and it has a cover flap to protect baby from the elements.

4. Boppy– I love Boppies! I think they’re great for breastfeeding small babies but they also have so many other uses! A big one that I use ours for is a safe sleep place for the baby (remember I’m not a doctor and it’s not technically a safe sleep space).

5. Bottles- Our little one hasn’t had to use bottles as much as our toddler did when he was younger. I think a big part of that is because of COVID. I haven’t really been away from him much. Still, we got a few nights out when we were staying with the in-laws and bottles are helpful for road trips or during the flying process (when you’re waiting in lines and don’t want to whip a boob out). Because he’s not used to bottles, these are the only ones he’s really good about taking.

6. Hakka– my favorite “pump”. Easy, portable, super cheap, not painful and gets the milk out. Not very discreet though.

7. Pump- I LOVE the Elvie pump! I used the Madela Freestyle with my first son and it worked well at getting milk out but for me, the hassle wasn’t worth it. The Elvie is awesome and makes pumping suck less. I’m able to pump on the go, it doesn’t take up a bunch of space and it’s not that awkward to pump in front of other people. Both of those pumps are on the pricey side but some insurances *tricare* will cover your breast pump (or part of your breast pump) cost. I used this website and they went through my insurance for me and gave me quotes on pumps (highly recommend).

8. Swaddle cloths- The Muslin kind is my favorite. They clean up mess well, they’re big enough to use as a nursing cover and they’re good for hot and cold temperatures. These are another one of those super versatile baby items.

9. Blanket- You only need one or two for cold weather or cold rooms. Something like this is perfect.

10. Cooler- For the milk! We bought a Yeti Backpack specifically for this trip and specifically for transporting my stash of frozen breast milk across the world. I am happy to report that it worked and was well worth it. If you’re not a psychopath like me, a simple milk cooler like this one does the trick for keeping bottles cool in transit.

11. Play-mat- Besides being a temporary bed, this play-may was great to have for tummy time for the little one. You could also just use a blanket but I liked having an actual play-mat because I felt it was a little thicker for hard floors (and gross hotel room floors) and served as a little piece of home.

12. Bottle washing set- This was an absolute lifesaver for my mental health. Is it necessary? Probably not. It did however make me feel clean and organized. Again I have a weird thing with dishes and am very obsessive about the cleanliness of my baby’s (and toddler’s) drinkware.

13. Nail clippers- Baby nail clippers. I swear tiny nails grow insanely fast. I would never go on any trip without them!

So there it is…

I tell you not to overpack and that the munchkins don’t need much but then slap you with a long, bulky list. Embarrassingly I packed way more than the above lists. I hope you have better luck cutting back than I did. There’s always room for improvisation along the route. Happy packing!